Dear Governor Palin

Thank you all for coming.

Today, I make two pledges. First, I promise to work very hard to avoid providing any more skit material for Tina Fey. Second, I am not going to run for President. Ever. No matter what.

Let me tell you why.

I am going to host some tea parties – a whole lot of tea parties. 

I never played tea party in my youth. I preferred to go hunting. Now I am going to play tea party and go hunting, too. I will not be hunting moose. I am after bigger game: incumbent politicians. 

Gary North has written a speech for Sarah Palin.